


No Dueling in the Museum

by TheMarvelLife



Category: Night at the Museum (Movies)
Genre: F/M, Jealousy, M/M, Romance, Swearing, a little swearing, i think there’s like one swearword, jed and Octy are kinda side but they get moments together, just guys being dudes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-05
Updated: 2020-07-05
Packaged: 2021-03-05 02:27:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,772
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25096834
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheMarvelLife/pseuds/TheMarvelLife
Summary: There’s a new samurai in the museum and he’s checking out Wea. Teddy on the other hand has never heard of such a thing.
Relationships: Jedediah/Octavius (Night at the Museum), Theodore Roosevelt/Sacajawea (Night at the Museum)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 17





	No Dueling in the Museum

**Author's Note:**

> This takes place after NATM 2.

“Teddy,” Ahkmenrah exclaimed as the 26th president strolled past him, horse reins in hand. Teddy stopped mid-step and turned to the young Pharaoh. “Are you on your way to Wea?”

Teddy grinned at the sound of her name and nodded. “Yes, my dear boy, I am. Usually we meet in the middle but I suppose something must be holding her up.”

“Most likely Lewis and Clarke,” Ahkmenrah added, playing with his fingers. 

“Indeed. Those two get themselves into a lot of fun.”

“Well, Larry and I were going to start a movie in the gallery, you are welcome to join us anytime. Attila and the rest of the Huns are in charge of snacks and we will be premiering “Babe”! It’s apparently a movie about a really ambitious farm pig that wants to be a dog!” Ahkmenrah was overjoyed at the idea of watching a movie so ridiculous. 

“Exciting,” Teddy spoke obviously not as enthused as his friend. Ahkmenrah sensed that the energy was not shared and nodded politely.

“Well, I’ll leave you be for now. Tell Wea that I said hi and I hope to see you both later.” Ahkmenrah gave a small wave before clasping his hands together and spinning on his heels, marching in the opposite direction. Teddy gave Texas a hearty pat on his neck and kept on his journey.

Theodore came into the exhibit where Sacagawea went motionless at every dawn to discover her smiling. He didn’t know what she was smiling at but it was contagious. As he got closer he could hear her laughter being carried in the air, she was ecstatic about something. 

“Wea, my love,” Teddy called out to her, waving his rein free hand. Sacagawea looked over in his direction and beamed, but she did not wave back because she was holding something in her hands. Flowers.

There was a figure in front of her was a man wearing samurai armor, he was holding his helmet under his arm. The mystery man was a sturdy 6’4 with a slender figure and broad shoulders. His hair was styled short and jet black, with complimentary cocoa eyes. He obviously was built for war, with a smile and dimples being the last thing you laid your eyes on. Teddy let go of Texas’s reins and promptly made his way to his girlfriend’s side. 

“You are so brave and beautiful, I’ve never met anyone like you before. I’m surprised you haven’t attracted a crowd of admirers.”

“Thank you so much, but when you live in a museum you are surrounded by many extraordinary people and animals, I can’t complain.”

“I have seen a wonderful attractions but you are the most gorgeous by far.”

“Thank you again,” Sacagawea blushed right as Teddy reached her. 

“Evening my love, you look quite fetching as always.” He took off his hat and bowed, before kissing her hand. 

“Thank you Teddy, this is Aiko. Aiko, this is Teddy. We were just chatting.” Akio bent his head in a small bow and Teddy smiled in acknowledgment before grabbing his hand and shaking it firmly. 

“I was just explaining to Sacagawea how extraordinary and brilliant she is.”

Teddy looked to Wea and gave a heavenly sigh. “Yes, she is.”

“I heard there is a movie night in the gallery if you would be so happy as to join me later. I would be honored to talk to you some more tonight. I’m sure you have plenty of stories to tell.” 

“I don’t know about tonight but I’m sure we will meet again and thank you for the flowers Aiko, they are beautiful.” Aiko bowed to her, bending at the knee, he rose and turned to walk away. 

“Flowers are nothing compared to the sight of you 綺麗な (beautiful),” Aiko shouted as he pranced away.

Teddy gave a brooding look, “Where is he from?”

“He’s a samurai model, he’s from another wing of the museum, it was his first time over here I suppose.” 

“Those flowers are indeed beautiful. He seems quite taken with you,” blurted out Teddy. Sacagawea looked at him and saw the worry on his face as he stared in the direction Aiko walked out. 

Wea reached over and shoved the flowers into Teddy’s hands, “Hold these for me for a second.” Teddy was stunned for a second as Wea reached up and grabbed his hat off his head, tucking it under her arm. She gently plunked a daffodil from his grip and neatly pushed it behind his ear. 

“It doesn’t matter whatever beautiful things spew out his mouth, he’s not the one I miss until the next night.” Teddy’s cheeks grew rosy and Sacagawea placed his hat back upon his head. She took the remaining flowers and set them down on a nearby bench.

“Forgive me my love, I should not have said such nonsense.”

“There is nothing to be sorry for Teddy and there is nothing to worry about, I am not going anywhere.” She brushed her fingers along his jaw and kissed his cheek, Teddy practically melted. “Where to now Teddy, dear?”

“I was thinking we could take a stroll before going to see a man about pig. How does that sound,” Teddy asked holding out his arm for his girlfriend to grab.

“That sounds nice,” Sacagawea replied, taking his arm as an answer. 

———————-

When Teddy and Sacagawea finally made it to the gallery, the movie had reached its halfway point. Wea led Teddy over to a spot on the floor by Attila and Ahkmenrah, they both took a seat on the blanket. Jedidiah and Octavius were perched in Attila’s fur hat with one piece of popcorn between the two of them. Ahkmenrah glanced over for one second before handing a small bag of popcorn over to Teddy. 

“Sorry, I only have one small bag. We ran out earlier because the Neanderthal’s swallowed the big supply of popcorn kernels,” Ahkmenrah whispered trying to keep his voice from disturbing the movie. 

“Thank you Ahk for saving us a bag anyways, it was very thoughtful of you,” Teddy replied. 

“Actually it wasn’t me that saved you a bag, it was one of the Samurai sitting over there. He was lovely and asked me to save this bag for Wea. How thoughtful!” Ahkmenrah tossed a piece of popcorn in his mouth and turned back to the movie. Teddy’s gaze shifted to across the room and studied Aiko for a moment, him and the other two samurai models were snickering about something. 

“Yes, very thoughtful,” he muttered under his breath. He was taken out of his trace when Wea placed her hand on top of his and laid her head on his shoulder; she was studying the movie. Teddy held the popcorn between the two of them so that Sac could obtain some if she pleased. Teddy tried to focus on the movie as well, but he couldn’t help but to curiously glance over at Aiko every now and then. 

After the movie was over Teddy stood and helped Wea up from their blanket. 

“That was a quite entertaining movie now wasn’t it,” Wea asked Teddy and her friends.

“It was quite splendid! I loved when the dogs made the sheep do what the pig asked, they are quite loyal,” Ahkmenrah added seriously.

“Mooshi mi dinaca muc oouh coocoo,” Attila chuckled with a smile.

“I too really liked the confused duck rooster,” Ahkmenrah grinned in response to Attila.

“I’ve never really paid hogs much mind except when I use to wrestle em, but this movie really made me see them in a different light,” Jedidiah shouted from atop Attila’s hat. Wea heard a whistle and looked over to where Aiko and his friends were standing, he was waving her over. Sac waved back with a smile and let go of Teddy’s hand.

“I’ll be right back, Teddy.” Wea started her way over to where Aiko was standing.

“Ok, my love.” Teddy gave a polite smile and a small wave. He couldn’t help but watch the inaudible conversation between the samurai and the Shoshone woman.

“I don’t mean to burst your bubble,” Octavius replied. “But this movie really made me hungry.” Jedidiah scoffed and hit Octavius’s arm.

“Wow, I can’t believe that’s all you got out of such an inspirational underdog movie! Unbelievable!”

“Whaaaaat? I can’t be the only one that would have loved to had the pig on a spit.”

“You can be so cynical, you know that?” 

“It’s just my opinion, I’m not the only one that loves a good pork sandwich, isn’t that right Teddy!” Octavius called out to Theodore and Jedidiah held his face in his hands, sighing. After Teddy was quiet for a while everyone turned to him and they could tell he was checked out.

“Earth to Teddy,” shouted Jed. After another moment of silence Atilla nudged the president’s arm. The man snapped out of his trace and looked to his friends embarrassed.

“Excuse me men. I did not mean to be rude.” 

“What has you all wound up Teddy?”

Teddy opened his mouth to speak but only a sigh came out. “It’s nothing......” Attila studied Teddy’s face and looked over to where Wea was.

Attila pointed, “Wea me su ana li lanaca ooh?” 

The group looked where Attila had pointed and back to Teddy. “Are Wea and the samurai over there friends? I’ve never seen them together,” Ahkmenrah asked, but the question was on the groups mind.

“I guess, I only ever met him tonight, he brought her flowers.” 

“Another man brought her flowers? Sounds like a threat to me,” Jedidiah declared and Octavius nodded at his statement.

“I don’t know about that, I mean she even gave me one of the flowers,” Teddy motioned to the flower behind his ear.

“Women always gave men a gift before they departed for war. It’s a symbol of letting someone go,” Octavius countered.

“Octy’s right, that’s like a goodbye present. People leave flowers on graves all the time.”

“I never understood that, they’re dead, what’s a corpse suppose to do with flowers?” 

“You’re so right, I never thought about it like that, you’re a genius!” Octavius reddened slightly at Jedidiah’s remark. 

“Miahna micaca! Su caca,” Attila cheered.

“I’m not going to rip him apart, that’s just un-called for,” Teddy stammered.

“I don’t know Attila might be on to something, if you really want this guy to go away, you might have to kill him Teddy,” Ahkmenrah encouraged.

“I’m not going to kill anybody!” 

“Well, why don’t you duel him then,” chimed Jedidiah, “we use to do it all the time. Best man wins, then there’s no excuses.” 

“Nonsense-,” Teddy started.

“Duel! Duel! Duel! Duel! Duel,” Octavius and Jedidiah started to chant, soon Ahkmenrah and Attila joined in. Teddy tried to find the words but was submerged by his friends yelling.

“Okay, why are you guys chanting duel,” Larry interjected as he walked up from behind Ahkmenrah.

“Lawrence! Finally, someone sensible.” Larry ran a hand through his hair and put his hands on his hips. 

“Where have you been Larry,” asked Ahkmenrah. 

“Well, I did clean up the popcorn machine, fold the blankets, put the projector away, and give brooms to the civil war soldier clean up crew....so nothing much,” Larry stressed. “Why, whats going on?”

“We were just all stressing to Theodore about how he should fight for his woman,” Octavius chirped. 

“Wait, there’s something going on with Wea?” Larry tilted his head and licked his lips. 

“No, of course not. They are just blowing this whole thing out of proportion.”

“Yes there is, some hot samurai brought her flowers and saved her a bag of popcorn,” Octavius shouted. 

“No one said he was hot,” complained Jed. 

“I mean, by beauty standards he’s pretty...for lack of better words...sexy. Have you seen those dimples? He’s toned AND his eyes are so brown and warm,” Octy argued. 

“Whatever, no one asked for a whole description,” Jedidiah muttered under his breath, arms crossed.

“It’s does seem like he is interested and samurai have certain customs for women. I’m sorry to say you might have to duel him Teddy,” Larry shrugged.

“Nonsense, I refuse,” Teddy groaned. “I won’t have to duel anyone, I know in my heart that Sacagawea is not going to leave me.”

“Boring! Duel! Duel! Duel!” Shouted out Jedidiah. “Duel! Duel! Duel!”

“Who’s dueling who,” asked Sacagawea approaching from behind. Teddy slightly jumped at the presence of his love. 

“Nothing,” Teddy said grabbing Wea’s hand and quickly pulled her away from the rest of the group. “How about I just walk you back to your mantle right now?” 

“Sure,” replied Wea, letting Teddy pull her along. 

“Goodmorning, Wea,” the group of men shouted to her.

Wea turned back to look at them but kept walking, “Goodmorning, guys!”

“Love you, Wea,” shouted Ahk, Attila, Larry, Jed, and Octy. 

“Love you guys too!” Wea waves with her free hand and followed Teddy’s lead. “What’s gotten into you, Teddy? Are you alright?”

The two of them made it a nice distance away from the gallery and Teddy slowed down. “It’s nothing. They were just joking. Haha!” Wea looked at him suspiciously but shrugged it off.

Teddy and Wea finally made it back to her post and he pulled back the sliding glass door. “Here we are my lady.” She used his hand to help herself up in the display case. When she stood in her case, she always gained a couple more inches in height which lead her to look taller than him. She waved to Lewis and Clarke before turning back to Teddy.

“You would tell me if something was wrong with you, wouldn’t you?” She looked downcast, she could feel his awkwardness.

“I’m fine, my love. There is nothing wrong.” He raised himself on his tippy toes to kiss her gently, Wea smiled into the kiss and felt the emptiness when he pulled back. “What are you going to do when I leave?” 

“Do what I always do, wait for you to come back.” Teddy instantly turned red in the face and he looked at his feet. 

When he had composed himself again he looked up at her and grabbed her hand, kissing it softly. “Until tomorrow, Goodmorning my love.”

Wea gave a small smile. “Goodmorning, Teddy.” The man took the flower from behind his ear and tucked it inside

Teddy turned and whistled, which made Texas come trotting into the room. Teddy hoisted himself up and gave a tip of his hat before riding off to his post. 

———————

“Thanks for coming out tonight. Texas and I hope to see you again,” Teddy cheered as the guests of the museum filed out the doors. Tonight was one of the nights that the museum stayed open until eleven pm. Teddy was the main host since the museum was his namesake and so he was responsible for greeting and sending off the tourists. 

Just as the last couple of tourists were making their way towards the door, a little remote controlled truck came flying into the main hall. Theodore recognizes the carefree driving style as none other but Jed and Octavius. He quickly hopped down from Texas to manage them better. The car skidded to a halt and the two little men jumped down. Teddy bent down and held out his hand for them to jump onto. 

“You gotta duel the sum bitch Teddy, the man’s trying to woo your woman at this very moment! There’s no time to waste! You better get gettin!” Jedidiah was frantic and talking at fifty miles per hour. 

“What, man? I don’t understand!” 

“That gorgeous samurai man has taken Sacagawea out on a date. We heard he’s going to ask for Wea’s hand,” Octavius explained.

“Where,” Teddy asked impatiently.

“The rooftop, you’re going to have to duel him Teddy!”

Teddy nodded and set the men back down on the ground carefully before taking off towards the stairs. “I’m not dueling anyone,” Teddy shouted back.

“Tsk tsk tsk, the man’s a goner.” Jedidiah sighed and Octavius looked at him seriously. 

“Would you duel for me?” 

“You know I would Kemosabe,” Jedidiah divulged. He looked at Octavius who was smiling hard and red as a tomato. He didn’t like the sensitive way the conversation had gone so he cleared his throat,”now hop in the truck and let’s get. I heard the civil war soldiers are starting a tug-of-war competition and I have some money to lose.”

*Meanwhile*

Aiko lead Wea up the stairs and opened up the door, holding it open so that she could walk through. Near the balcony was a set table with lit candles and two chairs. Sacagawea raised an eyebrow and turned back towards Aiko, who had closed the door and followed close behind her as she walked. 

“What is all this, Aiko? I thought you just wanted to hangout and talk.” Sacagawea motioned to the table and all the flair.

“Well we are going to talk, just with dinner added on.” Aiko went and pulled out a chair for Wea to sit in.

“Aiko, this looks romantic,” Wea commented with a questionable tone.

“That’s because it’s a date,” Aiko chirped, his eyes were bright and he was smiling big, his dimples on presentation.

“But I’m with Teddy and you know that.” Sacagawea was perplexed. The table was set beautifully, the plates were antique, the flowers in the middle were fresh, and the candles smelled of lavender. She had walked into a makeshift romantic accident.

“I understand that, but you could always leave him, nothing is permanent.”

Sacagawea’s jaw clenched at the statement. “I am not leaving Teddy.”

“But-“ Aiko started and Wea cut him off.

“I don’t want this,” she said sternly. 

“I will fight for your honor if I must,” Aiko pleaded grabbing her hands softly. “I just want to be with you.”

Sacagawea’s face turned sour and she shook her head, pulling her hands away from him. “You do not understand I do not want you to fight for my honor.

“What must I do to win you over? Anything Theodore gives you, I will return times ten.”

“What he gives me is priceless, it is himself. Teddy is one of the most sincere, caring, and honest human being I have ever had the chance to get to know. I love him with everything inside of me and he’s not replaceable. Even if you dueled one hundred times and he lost all of them, I would still choose him every time.” 

Aiko looked heartbroken, like someone had stabbed a sword through his warm, beating heart. It was the words that she had spoken, the way that she meant them, that’s what got to him. One single tear slipped from his eye and he quickly wiped it away. “I understand,” Aiko bowed and cleared his throat, he needed to go to sit for a while.

He blew out the first candle and started to pick up the silverware on the right , Sacagawea walked over and started on the left. “Here, let me help you.” Aiko looked up to her and gave a small thankful smile. “Listen, I know you might not want to hear this right now or from me but I’m sure you will find someone. You’re sweet.” 

“Well, thank you. It does kind of make me feel better.” Aiko looked up at Wea one more time while she was preoccupied with the plates, he tried to savor the moment in what could have been.

The door to the roof flung open, the samurai and Shoshone woman jumped at the commotion. “Stop! I am here to duel you for the hand of Sacagawea and if you win I will have to except my fate.” Teddy had his sword drawn and was marching over towards Aiko in a hurry. He stopped just short of the table.

Aiko shrugged his shoulders, “That won’t be necessary.” 

Teddy stood confused for a second before looking at the table they were cleaning up. The candles were blown out and the utensils were cleared. Teddy’s face dropped and he sheathed his sword. “I see....I am too late. Wea has chosen you and I understand. I will respect her wishes because I care for her. She has chosen well.” 

Teddy refused to look up at Wea and quickly turned towards the door. “Teddy, no, wait.”

Teddy started fast for the door, trying to hide his pain. “Theodore Roosevelt, stop.” Teddy heard the seriousness in Wea’s voice and came to a halt. He had almost made it to the door, why was she trying to give him more heartache?

Sac made her way over and pulled his hand from behind, turning him back around. “I’m not leaving you. I love you, you know that.” She brought a hand to his face, bringing his gaze to her. His blue’s were watering and so close to raining.

“I thought-“

“You thought wrong, it’s all a misunderstanding. Aiko and I are not together. You just overreacted.” She brought her lips to his face slowly and kissed two of his tears. Teddy let out a breath he didn’t know he had been holding in and hugged her tight, he didn’t ever want to let go.

“I love you so much. I thought I had-...” Teddy cut himself off and just buried his face into her shoulder. Wea closed her eyes and started to rub his back. Teddy pulled away and kissed Wea’s forehead softly. Aiko cleared his throat and the couple looked over to where he stood nervously.

“Excuse me, but I think I’ll be leaving now.” Aiko held the picnic blanket close to his chest, he had gathered the table settings and wrapped them inside neatly. The samurai warrior bowed to the both of them before slipping past swiftly and silently. 

Teddy watched the man leave and let out a heavy sigh. “I can’t believe you almost dueled him.” He quickly looked at Wea who was smiling at him jokingly. Teddy rubbed his forehead as he hid a smile behind his hand.

“You are worth it my dear.” It was Wea’s turn to melt this time. “Poor boy, he probably would’ve won. The Japanese are very fierce warriors. I would have lost your hand.”

“You can’t get rid of me that easily.”

“Lucky me.” Teddy ungloved his hand and interlaced their fingers. Teddy and Wea swung their hands back and forth. “So what did you say to him anyway?”

“I told him that I only get with Presidents.”

“I’ll have to keep an eye out for Lincoln then, huh?” Wea let out a belly laugh.


End file.
